"In a crowd this big I know many of you have been abused and I'm sorry.
That hurts me. That grieves me.
And I just want to say we hear you, we see you, we acknowledge your pain,
it matters, it matters to God."
Pastor Rick Warren, Saddleback Church
That hurts me. That grieves me.
And I just want to say we hear you, we see you, we acknowledge your pain,
it matters, it matters to God."
Pastor Rick Warren, Saddleback Church
According to this article, Healthy Ways to Help Sexual Abuse Survivors in Your Church by Susan M. Clabaugh, "Whether you realize it or not, your church is full of current sexual abuse victims, survivors, and abusers. The statistics show it, and the people prove it. Think about your congregation. Look out over them on a Sunday morning. As many as 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18. Around 44 percent of women and 23 percent of men will be victims of some form of sexual violence during their lifetimes, according to a CDC study. This includes people in your congregation. The church is not excluded from these numbers."
Is the Church missing an opportunity to minister to the abused sitting in the pews? What can pastors and congregations, brothers and sisters in Christ, do to help an abuse survivor? How do we help them feel safe and comfortable? How do we give them a voice? What helps and what hurts?
In addition to the article above, below are some resource links to help us love and care for our survivor brothers and sisters that attend church with us.
Is the Church missing an opportunity to minister to the abused sitting in the pews? What can pastors and congregations, brothers and sisters in Christ, do to help an abuse survivor? How do we help them feel safe and comfortable? How do we give them a voice? What helps and what hurts?
In addition to the article above, below are some resource links to help us love and care for our survivor brothers and sisters that attend church with us.
The Church Must Build 'Spiritual Ramps' to Sex Abuse Survivors by Lea Karen Kivi
Unless their trauma is addressed, survivors like this young boy and girl might never be able to walk through the doors of the church
How to Care for Abuse Survivors in Your Congregation by Krispin Mayfield
Practical ways to care for the wounded.
5 Reasons Church Leaders Don't Treat the Wounds of Abuse Survivors by Jimmy Hinton
5 Things Church Leaders Should Do to Treat the Wounds of Survivors by Jimmy Hinton
Five Mistakes to Avoid When Counseling the Sexually Abused by Diane Langberg
Ministering to men and women who are victims of sexual abuse can be tricky;
there are several common mistakes that pastors make.
By being aware of these pitfalls, you can be better prepared the next time an incident arises within your church.
This is How Churches Should Respond to Abuse by Scott Savage
The Church needs to develop a reputation of being a refuge for the abused, protecting those who’ve been violated.
Church attendees need to know that church leaders will stand by them if they leave an abusive relationship,
instead of merely asking them to look beyond the abuse and forgive.
We need to care for all those who call our churches home,
even if that means serving those who commit a crime and those who were victims of that crime.
A Church Addresses Sexual Abuse
In 2013, The Summit Church (Durham, NC) addressed the subject of sexual abuse in all of our weekend services.
This series is a reflection of those services, the preparation that went into them, and the aftercare that was provided.
Our hope is that the resources produced will allow other churches to address this needed subject and improve upon our efforts.
This is a subject that addresses 20% of our church, community, and world (1 in 4 women; 1 in 6 men). The church cannot be silent.
“If you preach the gospel in all aspects with the exception of the issues that deal specifically with your time,
you are not preaching the gospel at all.” Martin Luther
The Impact of Sexual Trauma on Survivors' Theological Perception and Spiritual Formation
by Mallory Wyckoff (mallorywyckoff.com)
This study was designed to examine the ways in which experiences of sexual abuse interface with
survivors’ theological perception and spiritual formation.
Particular attention was paid to how survivors experience various stimuli within church and religious contexts.
Narrative 1: What the Survivors Have Found Difficult as They Navigate Church and Religious Settings
Theme 1: Church as Unsafe
Theme 2: Unhelpful/Harmful Responses to Women’s Admission of Abuse
Theme 3: Unwanted/Unprovoked/Inappropriate Physical Contact
Theme 4: Critique of Patriarchal Language and Systems
Theme 5: Overemphasis on Sin and Human Depravity
Theme 6: Absence of Discussions About Sex/Sexuality
Theme 7: Stimuli/Experiences that Are Triggering
Narrative 2: What Has Been Most Helpful for the Survivors in Church and Religious Settings
Theme 1: Acts of Love and Kindness from the Church
Theme 2: Church Culture that Values and Embraces Brokenness
Theme 3: Connection with God and Spiritual Formation
Theme 4: Ability to Contribute and Participate
Narrative 3: The Survivors’ Vision for What Church and Spiritual Formation Ought to Be
Theme 1: Ministers Must Talk About Sexual Abuse and Listen to Survivors’ Stories
Theme 2: Need for Improved and Expanded Training
Theme 3: Ministers’ Increased Awareness of and Intentionality in Their Words/Actions
21 Sentences NOT to Say to a Sexual Abuse Survivor by Mary E. DeMuth
As a sexual abuse survivor, I’ve heard my share of insensitive comments.
I’ve also talked to enough victims to be able to gather some of the most damaging words here--
all for the sake of those who truly, truly want to be loving, sensitive and helpful.
My intention in writing these is not to shame those who want to help, or make them walk on eggshells.
Instead it’s to help friends and family members of victims best love and understand the sexual abuse recovery journey.
PTSD and the Church: When Religion is a Trigger by Kristy Burmeister
How Society Gaslights Survivors of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths
(A Guide for Therapists, Law Enforcement and Loved Ones)
How to Support a Friend or Loved One Who Has Been Sexually Abused
by Vanessa Marin
Why Trauma Survivors Can't 'Just Let it Go'
by Vicki Peterson
This is How Pastors Can Help Bring Healing to Sexual Abuse Survivors
by Jessica Mouser with Rachel Denhollander
Unless their trauma is addressed, survivors like this young boy and girl might never be able to walk through the doors of the church
How to Care for Abuse Survivors in Your Congregation by Krispin Mayfield
Practical ways to care for the wounded.
5 Reasons Church Leaders Don't Treat the Wounds of Abuse Survivors by Jimmy Hinton
5 Things Church Leaders Should Do to Treat the Wounds of Survivors by Jimmy Hinton
Five Mistakes to Avoid When Counseling the Sexually Abused by Diane Langberg
Ministering to men and women who are victims of sexual abuse can be tricky;
there are several common mistakes that pastors make.
By being aware of these pitfalls, you can be better prepared the next time an incident arises within your church.
This is How Churches Should Respond to Abuse by Scott Savage
The Church needs to develop a reputation of being a refuge for the abused, protecting those who’ve been violated.
Church attendees need to know that church leaders will stand by them if they leave an abusive relationship,
instead of merely asking them to look beyond the abuse and forgive.
We need to care for all those who call our churches home,
even if that means serving those who commit a crime and those who were victims of that crime.
A Church Addresses Sexual Abuse
In 2013, The Summit Church (Durham, NC) addressed the subject of sexual abuse in all of our weekend services.
This series is a reflection of those services, the preparation that went into them, and the aftercare that was provided.
Our hope is that the resources produced will allow other churches to address this needed subject and improve upon our efforts.
This is a subject that addresses 20% of our church, community, and world (1 in 4 women; 1 in 6 men). The church cannot be silent.
“If you preach the gospel in all aspects with the exception of the issues that deal specifically with your time,
you are not preaching the gospel at all.” Martin Luther
The Impact of Sexual Trauma on Survivors' Theological Perception and Spiritual Formation
by Mallory Wyckoff (mallorywyckoff.com)
This study was designed to examine the ways in which experiences of sexual abuse interface with
survivors’ theological perception and spiritual formation.
Particular attention was paid to how survivors experience various stimuli within church and religious contexts.
Narrative 1: What the Survivors Have Found Difficult as They Navigate Church and Religious Settings
Theme 1: Church as Unsafe
Theme 2: Unhelpful/Harmful Responses to Women’s Admission of Abuse
Theme 3: Unwanted/Unprovoked/Inappropriate Physical Contact
Theme 4: Critique of Patriarchal Language and Systems
Theme 5: Overemphasis on Sin and Human Depravity
Theme 6: Absence of Discussions About Sex/Sexuality
Theme 7: Stimuli/Experiences that Are Triggering
Narrative 2: What Has Been Most Helpful for the Survivors in Church and Religious Settings
Theme 1: Acts of Love and Kindness from the Church
Theme 2: Church Culture that Values and Embraces Brokenness
Theme 3: Connection with God and Spiritual Formation
Theme 4: Ability to Contribute and Participate
Narrative 3: The Survivors’ Vision for What Church and Spiritual Formation Ought to Be
Theme 1: Ministers Must Talk About Sexual Abuse and Listen to Survivors’ Stories
Theme 2: Need for Improved and Expanded Training
Theme 3: Ministers’ Increased Awareness of and Intentionality in Their Words/Actions
21 Sentences NOT to Say to a Sexual Abuse Survivor by Mary E. DeMuth
As a sexual abuse survivor, I’ve heard my share of insensitive comments.
I’ve also talked to enough victims to be able to gather some of the most damaging words here--
all for the sake of those who truly, truly want to be loving, sensitive and helpful.
My intention in writing these is not to shame those who want to help, or make them walk on eggshells.
Instead it’s to help friends and family members of victims best love and understand the sexual abuse recovery journey.
PTSD and the Church: When Religion is a Trigger by Kristy Burmeister
How Society Gaslights Survivors of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths
(A Guide for Therapists, Law Enforcement and Loved Ones)
How to Support a Friend or Loved One Who Has Been Sexually Abused
by Vanessa Marin
Why Trauma Survivors Can't 'Just Let it Go'
by Vicki Peterson
This is How Pastors Can Help Bring Healing to Sexual Abuse Survivors
by Jessica Mouser with Rachel Denhollander