Gender, Violence, and Justice: Collected Essays on Violence against Women
by Pamela Cooper-White, Sally N. MacNichol (Cascade/Wipf & Stock, 2019).
Chapter 7 - Sexual Exploitation and Other Boundary Violations in Pastoral Ministries
Section: Consulting to congregations
There has been increasing recognition among clergy and judicatory executives that congregations are also traumatized by clergy sexual misconduct. It is now generally understood that when congregations are not offered an intentional, well-planned healing process, they continue to carry wounds that can affect future generations of future clergy and lay members, and are likely to pose significant if unspoken obstacles to effective ministry. Congregations are groups or systems which, just like individuals, have conscious as well as unconscious dynamics. Traumatic events in the life of a congregation may be "forgotten," initially because of systemic taboos against telling the truth about what happened. Later, even if every person who was a member at the time the trauma has moved away or died, the post-traumatic dynamics persist. Old patterns of relating, of behavior, speech and silence, are taken up by new members without a conscious understanding of their origins. Like families with multi-generational patterns of incest, congregational dynamics can also be governed by a sexual abuse secret that is hidden from conscious awareness but can be recognized by the symptoms it produces.
Experts have identified a number of indicators of congregational symptoms in the aftermath of clergy sexual misconduct[i]
In order to heal from sexual misconduct, congregations need intentional, well-trained, and empathic intervention. First and foremost, congregations need information and education. Appropriate disclosure may be made by professionals who have authority in the religious institution with which the congregation is affiliated (judicatory executives), or consultants who are authorized officially to represent the institution by virtue of their particular training and expertise in working with congregations in the aftermath of sexual misconduct. Such initial disclosure gives permission for open discussion and processing of the traumatic events in the congregation's life. Appropriate disclosure serves two purposes: first, to reduce the congregation's anxiety about what happened and what has been kept from them; and second, to model permission for open discussion and truth-telling within the congregation itself. As with all trauma, truth-telling and open processing of feelings are at the heart of any congregational healing process.
Information and education should at minimum include:
A collaborative team approach is recommended, in which mental health/addictions professionals, denominational personnel, area clergy, attorneys, and (as appropriate) law enforcement professionals, may all potentially be of help to a congregation in the aftermath of sexual abuse. Lay leaders who have experienced misconduct in another congregation and have sufficiently moved through their own grief process can also be useful resources. Such a "response team" should be balanced to include both women and men, clergy and laity. The team should also include persons of varying ages and socio-cultural perspectives, reflecting the nature and diversity of the congregation's own membership. A quiet room and a person designated simply to be a caring listener should be provided at any public meeting or event related to the misconduct. Local counseling resources should be posted so that members who wish to do so may seek further individual consultation and healing. Congregations can be helped in recognizing the need for a plan to respond to media in an appropriate and timely manner.
Finally, a consultant can help the congregation to realize that the healing process will take time. It is the disclosure of the information that initiates the crisis for the congregation, although the crisis was actually caused by the clergy misconduct. First disclosure opens a window for potential healing, but this window may shut down if ongoing support and education are not offered. Healing cannot be accomplished in a single congregational meeting. Follow-up meetings, both large and in small groups, should be planned at regular intervals. As with all grief processes, two years is a reasonable minimum length of time to expect that healing will occur, if the process is being regularly attended throughout that time. Knudsen has written, "No congregation that I know of has ever complained that 'too much was offered to us' for their healing process. Err on the side of offering more rather than less opportunity to discuss, process and accept/integrate the experience.”[ii]
After the initial crisis period, pastoral counselors who are well educated in these congregational dynamics may continue in an ongoing capacity to serve as consultants to interim clergy and "after-pastors." As consultants, pastoral counselors may help these clergy to stay differentiated from the wounded congregational system into which they have been immersed. Consultants can help them to recognize post-traumatic "symptoms" as they occur in the congregational system. By integrating this knowledge, "after-pastors" may maintain a constructive, ongoing "non-anxious" pastoral presence[iii] that helps move the congregation through healing to renewal of ministry and mission.
Pastoral counselors may also be a helpful resource to judicatory executives who need consultation in dealing directly with situations of sexual misconduct. Education in the dynamics of clergy sexual misconduct, and guidance in appropriate methods of prevention and intervention can be invaluable to religious leaders. It is important to remember that judicatory executives are also secondary victims of clergy sexual misconduct. They may also experience a range of feelings including shock, anxiety, dread, disbelief, a wish to minimize, a pull to collude with the offender, or a desire to act impulsively from outrage or grief upon the discovery of clergy sexual misconduct in one of their congregations. Consultants can support judicatory executives in maintaining an educated, conscious nonanxious leadership presence, implementing (or creating) policies and procedures that enact at an institutional level both healing and justice.
[i] E.g., Chilton Knudsen, “Trauma Debriefing: A Congregational Model,” MCS Conciliation Quarterly (Spring 1991); Nancy Myer Hopkins, “Symbolic Church Fights: The Hidden Agenda When Clerical Trust Has Been Betrayed,” Congregations: The Alban Journal (May/June, 1993), 15-18; Nancy Myer Hopkins and Mark Laaser, ed., Restoring the Soul of a Church: Healing Congregations Wounded by Clergy Sexual Misconduct (Collegeville, MN: Alban Institute and Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute, 1995); Nancy Myer Hopkins, The Congregational Response to Clergy Betrayals of Trust Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 1998); Candace R. Benyei, Understanding Clergy Misconduct in Religious Systems: Scapegoating, Family Secrets, and the Abuse of Power (Haworth Press 1998).
[ii] Chilton Knudsen, “Trauma Debriefing: A Congregational Model,” MCS Conciliation Quarterly (Spring 1991), 12-13.
[iii] Edwin H. Friedman, Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue (New York: Guilford Press, 1985).
by Pamela Cooper-White, Sally N. MacNichol (Cascade/Wipf & Stock, 2019).
Chapter 7 - Sexual Exploitation and Other Boundary Violations in Pastoral Ministries
Section: Consulting to congregations
There has been increasing recognition among clergy and judicatory executives that congregations are also traumatized by clergy sexual misconduct. It is now generally understood that when congregations are not offered an intentional, well-planned healing process, they continue to carry wounds that can affect future generations of future clergy and lay members, and are likely to pose significant if unspoken obstacles to effective ministry. Congregations are groups or systems which, just like individuals, have conscious as well as unconscious dynamics. Traumatic events in the life of a congregation may be "forgotten," initially because of systemic taboos against telling the truth about what happened. Later, even if every person who was a member at the time the trauma has moved away or died, the post-traumatic dynamics persist. Old patterns of relating, of behavior, speech and silence, are taken up by new members without a conscious understanding of their origins. Like families with multi-generational patterns of incest, congregational dynamics can also be governed by a sexual abuse secret that is hidden from conscious awareness but can be recognized by the symptoms it produces.
Experts have identified a number of indicators of congregational symptoms in the aftermath of clergy sexual misconduct[i]
- anger that is displaced toward other authority figures such as congregation staff members, judicatory executives, interims and "after-pastors," and even toward lay leadership;
- reactivity in the form of making unwise or hasty decisions;
- a pattern of divisiveness within the congregation;
- a sense of depression, malaise, and apathy among members toward routine tasks and programs;
- excessive preoccupation with caring for the offending clergyperson (sometimes even after he has left the congregation) without similar apparent regard for other injured parties;
- a loss of members and/or income which does not resolve in the usual "recovery period" of 6-12 months for these losses;
- a climate of gossip and conjecture resulting from understandable attempts to find out "what happened?";
- or unconscious embarrassment, leading to isolation from the surrounding community and from other congregations;
- "sexualization" of the congregation, in which undue attention is given to matters of human sexuality;
- "symbolic fights," (Hopkins, 1993) congregational conflicts that symbolize the pain (for example, conflicts about the priority of children's ministries, about job/role descriptions, about the external appearance of the congregation's building, about the newsletter and other means of communication, about "boundaries" such as keys to the building, office hours, outreach, etc.;
- nostalgia for the "good old days" or idealization of previous clergy; suspicion or resistance to new ideas, programs, or forms of ministry;
- despair about the future of the congregation, resulting in fear of making commitments or taking risks.
In order to heal from sexual misconduct, congregations need intentional, well-trained, and empathic intervention. First and foremost, congregations need information and education. Appropriate disclosure may be made by professionals who have authority in the religious institution with which the congregation is affiliated (judicatory executives), or consultants who are authorized officially to represent the institution by virtue of their particular training and expertise in working with congregations in the aftermath of sexual misconduct. Such initial disclosure gives permission for open discussion and processing of the traumatic events in the congregation's life. Appropriate disclosure serves two purposes: first, to reduce the congregation's anxiety about what happened and what has been kept from them; and second, to model permission for open discussion and truth-telling within the congregation itself. As with all trauma, truth-telling and open processing of feelings are at the heart of any congregational healing process.
Information and education should at minimum include:
- Appropriate, ample disclosure of facts. Congregations need fair and honest answers to the question "what happened?" Exceptions to full disclosure, such as withholding the identity of reporting victims to preserve their safety, or withholding of any information for specific, concrete legal reasons, should be explained. Secrecy is at the heart of the betrayal of the congregation's trust. The interruption of patterns of secrecy begins from the first disclosure to model a new way of congregational life based on honesty and sharing. Congregations that are "left in the dark" are more likely to engage in gossip, secrecy, victim-blaming, and covering up of the truth.
- Access to the most recent policies and procedures pertaining to the case. They should be "walked through" the steps that will occur in their denomination's adjudication procedure, and be told what to expect at various stages in the process.
- Education about appropriate ministerial boundaries, the misuse of power inherent in clergy sexual misconduct, and a theological framework for sexual ethics. Members should be helped to understand their institution's ethical mandates, and the rationale behind them. Educational efforts should give attention to issues of ministerial trust and responsibility for boundaries, power differentials inherent in the role of ministry, and theological understandings of abuse.
- Education about the stages in the congregational healing process, which are not unlike the stages of grief experienced by a person in bereavement. The variety of commonly experienced feelings, reactions, and behavioral responses can be explained and normalized. A "Trauma De-Briefing Model," as developed by the Rev. Chilton Knudsen (1991), is recommended for initial disclosure and early healing process. Her "Dimensions of Congregational Healing" wheel is helpful in explaining the range of reactions that may occur normally in a congregation in the aftermath of clergy misconduct. Reactions may include shock, denial, bargaining, anger (scapegoating), depression/sadness, anger (righteous rage), and (eventually), acceptance and integration
A collaborative team approach is recommended, in which mental health/addictions professionals, denominational personnel, area clergy, attorneys, and (as appropriate) law enforcement professionals, may all potentially be of help to a congregation in the aftermath of sexual abuse. Lay leaders who have experienced misconduct in another congregation and have sufficiently moved through their own grief process can also be useful resources. Such a "response team" should be balanced to include both women and men, clergy and laity. The team should also include persons of varying ages and socio-cultural perspectives, reflecting the nature and diversity of the congregation's own membership. A quiet room and a person designated simply to be a caring listener should be provided at any public meeting or event related to the misconduct. Local counseling resources should be posted so that members who wish to do so may seek further individual consultation and healing. Congregations can be helped in recognizing the need for a plan to respond to media in an appropriate and timely manner.
Finally, a consultant can help the congregation to realize that the healing process will take time. It is the disclosure of the information that initiates the crisis for the congregation, although the crisis was actually caused by the clergy misconduct. First disclosure opens a window for potential healing, but this window may shut down if ongoing support and education are not offered. Healing cannot be accomplished in a single congregational meeting. Follow-up meetings, both large and in small groups, should be planned at regular intervals. As with all grief processes, two years is a reasonable minimum length of time to expect that healing will occur, if the process is being regularly attended throughout that time. Knudsen has written, "No congregation that I know of has ever complained that 'too much was offered to us' for their healing process. Err on the side of offering more rather than less opportunity to discuss, process and accept/integrate the experience.”[ii]
After the initial crisis period, pastoral counselors who are well educated in these congregational dynamics may continue in an ongoing capacity to serve as consultants to interim clergy and "after-pastors." As consultants, pastoral counselors may help these clergy to stay differentiated from the wounded congregational system into which they have been immersed. Consultants can help them to recognize post-traumatic "symptoms" as they occur in the congregational system. By integrating this knowledge, "after-pastors" may maintain a constructive, ongoing "non-anxious" pastoral presence[iii] that helps move the congregation through healing to renewal of ministry and mission.
Pastoral counselors may also be a helpful resource to judicatory executives who need consultation in dealing directly with situations of sexual misconduct. Education in the dynamics of clergy sexual misconduct, and guidance in appropriate methods of prevention and intervention can be invaluable to religious leaders. It is important to remember that judicatory executives are also secondary victims of clergy sexual misconduct. They may also experience a range of feelings including shock, anxiety, dread, disbelief, a wish to minimize, a pull to collude with the offender, or a desire to act impulsively from outrage or grief upon the discovery of clergy sexual misconduct in one of their congregations. Consultants can support judicatory executives in maintaining an educated, conscious nonanxious leadership presence, implementing (or creating) policies and procedures that enact at an institutional level both healing and justice.
[i] E.g., Chilton Knudsen, “Trauma Debriefing: A Congregational Model,” MCS Conciliation Quarterly (Spring 1991); Nancy Myer Hopkins, “Symbolic Church Fights: The Hidden Agenda When Clerical Trust Has Been Betrayed,” Congregations: The Alban Journal (May/June, 1993), 15-18; Nancy Myer Hopkins and Mark Laaser, ed., Restoring the Soul of a Church: Healing Congregations Wounded by Clergy Sexual Misconduct (Collegeville, MN: Alban Institute and Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute, 1995); Nancy Myer Hopkins, The Congregational Response to Clergy Betrayals of Trust Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 1998); Candace R. Benyei, Understanding Clergy Misconduct in Religious Systems: Scapegoating, Family Secrets, and the Abuse of Power (Haworth Press 1998).
[ii] Chilton Knudsen, “Trauma Debriefing: A Congregational Model,” MCS Conciliation Quarterly (Spring 1991), 12-13.
[iii] Edwin H. Friedman, Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue (New York: Guilford Press, 1985).