Category: Victims

8/1/2021

My Prayer

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Father, I pray for clergy abuse survivors. I thank You that You love each one with an unfailing love.

Father, I ask You to make Yourself known to survivors in a way that leaves no doubt in our heart that You are here. Remind us that You know us by name. That Your thoughts for us outnumber the grains of sand on earth. (Psalm 139)

Father, we don't know why You, in Your sovereignty, allow some terrible things to happen. (Isaiah 55:8-9) Help us to trust You. Show us that you take what Satan and our abusers mean for evil and use it for Your good (Genesis 50:20).

God, thank You for listening when we cry out in grief, anger, and pain to You (Psalm 56). Please surround these precious survivors with people who will also listen and support without judgement. Please surround survivors with love.

Father, please keep us safe. I ask that you will give each of us the courage to do what we need to do to be safe. Again, Father, that You will surround each of us with people who will help keep us safe (Psalm 91).

And, Father, we plead for justice (Proverbs 21:15). We ask that truth will be known. That the truth will set all survivors free (John 8:32).

And Father, we ask You, beg You, to help free our churches from all types of abuse. Church should be safe. And, Father, we plead for justice (Proverbs 21:15). We ask that truth will be known. That the truth will set all survivors free (John 8:32).

And Father, we ask You, beg You, to help free our churches from all types of abuse. Church should be safe. tempted to cover up sin to "protect the church."

And Father, where our leaders lack courage, we ask that you give the congregation the courage to stand up to the leadership. We, the people, are your church.

Again, Father, I ask you to embrace each survivor and hold us close to Your heart throughout our journey to healing and wholeness.

Thank you that in Jesus, we are truly free (John 8:36)! In Jesus's Name. Amen

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5/27/2021

Common for Adult Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse

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I’ve talked to a number of adult victims of clergy sexual abuse in the last year. Common to all

Pastor groomed for a while, sometimes years.
The victims were trauma bonded by the time the pastor tested the sexual boundary.
The victim initially rejected the sexual advance.
They treaded lightly as they rejected because of the power differential and they were afraid of the pastor.
The pastor did not take no for an answer and relentlessly persisted.
The pastors had similar grooming tactics such as sharing the “secret” that they were in unloving marriages and neglected. Also anger, threats & gaslighting.
The pastor used God and Scripture as part of grooming.
The abuse got progressively worse and sexual over time, not immediately.
The victims felt they had nowhere to turn. No one would believe them or understand.
They knew the pastor was untouchable.
The pastor convinced them it was their fault.
The pastor threatened to kill victim or self if it was discovered.
After discovery, the elders mishandled the abuse, sin-leveled and victim-blamed.
The pastor got sympathy and the victim got judged & discarded.
The victims all took responsibility before they learned it was sexual abuse so they are not trying to avoid taking responsibility by calling it abuse.
The victims struggle with severe trauma. PTSD
The victims are some of the most courageous people I’ve ever met.
The victims want truth in the light even at great cost to themselves.
The pastors never took responsibility.

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My Prayer

Common for Adult Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse

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