“A spiritual leader who misuses his positional authority
in ways that cause harm to others
should be stripped of both his constitutional and spiritual authority.
Allowing a toxic leader to remain in a position of honor and influence
is not a remedy to his misuse of authority.”
Wade Mullen @wad3mullen
in ways that cause harm to others
should be stripped of both his constitutional and spiritual authority.
Allowing a toxic leader to remain in a position of honor and influence
is not a remedy to his misuse of authority.”
Wade Mullen @wad3mullen
Is Pastoral Restoration Possible?
When a pastor/elder/ministry leader engages in sexual misconduct with a congregant or staff member that is subordinate to their position of authority, can they remain in or later be restored to their position of leadership after some process of confession and repentance?
Some believe that the unconditional love of God for us dictates that we must forgive others unconditionally. By extension they most likely will believe that we should allow a church leader who commits sexual misconduct or an abuse of power to be forgiven and fully restored to their position of leadership. While we are instructed to forgive others as God forgives us, before deciding how this applies to cases of abuse in church leadership, we need to take a closer look at the context and greater scope of instruction regarding confession, repentance, and forgiveness along with the Biblical qualifications for leadership in the Church.
The Bible doesn’t say anything about unconditional forgiveness. It tells us that we should forgive as the Lord forgave us (Matthew 6:12, Colossians 3:13). While God’s forgiveness is undeserved, it certainly isn’t unconditional. God's forgiveness is offered to all, but given only to those who confess and repent of their sin (2 Chronicles 7:14; Leviticus 26; Luke 13:3; 1 John 1:8-10). A willingness to forgive is always desired, but the process of forgiveness is a very individual, personal thing.
Repentance is a key aspect of forgiveness that enables the restoration of relationship with God and with each other. Throughout the New Testament we are told of the need for repentance for the forgiveness of sins. John the Baptist prepared the way for Jesus by calling Israel to repentance for forgiveness of sin (Matt 3:11, Mark 1:4, Luke 3:3). Jesus taught the need for repentance (Matt 4:17, Mark 1:15, Luke 5:32). The apostles called for repentance throughout the epistles. The words of Jesus recorded in Matthew 18:15-20 and Luke 17:3-4 also indicate that forgiving someone who sins against you is predicated on the repentance of the offender.
To truly repent of something you have to honestly admit, or confess, what you did wrong. An honest confession should include a sincere statement of what was done wrong and how it offended or hurt the person that was sinned against. Proverbs 28:13 tells us if we try to hide our transgressions we will not prosper, but if we truly confess and repent then God will show us mercy.
Does honest confession and true repentance then lead to forgiveness that can result in a return to the position of leadership from where abuse occurred? Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. Forgiveness does not mean the elimination of consequences. Engaging in toxic, immoral, or abusive behavior while in a position of church leadership should effectively disqualify a person from remaining in church leadership, regardless of their state of repentance or any forgiveness they are granted. Such behavior is clearly outside the qualifications of church leadership given in 1 Timothy 3:1-13 and Titus 1:5-16, and it also demonstrates a lack of the fruit of the Holy Spirit that a spiritual leader should have ( Galatians 5:22-23).
Is there any circumstance that would allow for a leader who has abused their power to be able to return to a position of church leadership sometime later? Probably not. It would certainly require that the sincerity of their confession and the integrity of their repentance be carefully evaluated by appropriate peers or overseers, as well as some reasonable term of demonstrating that repentance, before they are even considered to be allowed back into a position of leadership. Even so, it is a difficult argument to justify in the eyes of the victims and it will likely be difficult for most victims of such abuse to believe an abuser should ever be allowed back into leadership. How can it be argued that they could still meet the qualifications of leadership defined in 1 Timothy 3:1-13 and Titus 1:5-16. It would probably be wise to allow the victim(s) to have a say in the consideration of their abuser’s restoration to a leadership position.
Too often in the case of covert abuse, particularly when narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is involved, the abuser is incapable of honest confession. They may say the word sorry or make some form of an apology, but it rarely is a true confession of what they did wrong and how it hurt their victim(s). Because they cannot really comprehend or acknowledge their own brokenness, and they have no true empathy for their victim(s), true repentance will rarely occur. Again, they may say they are repentant, and may behave better for some period of time, but their habitual abusive behaviors will likely return in time. Leaders with NPD really shouldn’t have been in church leadership to begin with, and if they have engaged in sexual misconduct and abuse they should never be allowed to hold a position of leadership again.
In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 Paul tells us that God will punish those who lead brothers or sisters into sexual sin, in other words, sexual abusers, so we should be very cautious about enabling those abusers to be in, remain in, or be restored to positions of opportunity.
Some Thoughts on "When Restoration Hurts"
Philip Monroe
How Should the Church Respond to Abusers
Diane Langberg
Church Discipline and the Psychopath
Dave Mallinak
Philip Monroe
How Should the Church Respond to Abusers
Diane Langberg
Church Discipline and the Psychopath
Dave Mallinak