Does truth matter? Is it important for all involved to know and operate in truth? Is truth worth fighting for?
Were the elders honest and thorough in their process of determining what had happened and how to respond, privately and publicly, to the reporting of inappropriate activity between their peer pastor/elder and his assistant?
Did the elders have adequate knowledge or experience with the subject matter to be able to quickly determine what happened, how it happened, or who was responsible for it happening?
Was there sufficient investigation to find out the truth of what really happened or how it happened?
Did the elders ask any questions of the victim or others, or show any interest in learning the truth of what really happened or how it happened?
Did the elders provide sufficient guidance, knowledgeable help, or adequate time for the individuals or families to process and try to make senses out of what happened before insisting on a written agreement permanently defining their response, the conditions of their support, and what was to be publicly communicated?
Were the elders truthful in their public communication of what happened between Mark and Diana?
What is the truth in this case? Is it the communication of a hastily defined and conditionally agreed upon term of “inappropriate relationship” with both parties being considered equally to blame and with equal responsibility in what had happened, even though there was no attempt to find out the truth of what had happened?
What was the elders understanding of “abuse of power” at the time? Why was there no consideration for the possibility of a man who had abused his position and power to perpetrate multiple forms of abuse on a victim? Why was there no guidance or help in understanding emotional and physiological abuse or the need for special trauma care for a potential victim of abuse? Why were the very obvious signs of a victim of abuse ignored or minimized over many years?
Is it important for all to know if there were patterns of inappropriate behavior in the past that hurt others, to know if or how others might have been abused by this pastor/elder? Was the communication of an “inappropriate relationship” and all that was communicated with it conducive to others being willing to tell their stories to the elders?
Is it important to determine if this pattern of behavior was an indication of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” that used and abused his positions in ministry/church to feed his ego, selfish desires, and personal agendas at the expense of others?
Is it important to provide opportunity for others who were hurt by that man to be heard and validated and for the church as a whole to honestly confront the truth and heal the damage that was done?
Did the elders not want to know the truth, or did they know it and not want it to be known by others?
Is truth and transparency in dealing with issues/conflicts that affect the entire church body important?
Did the elders provide sufficient transparency in their determination of and communication about what happened between their peer and his assistant? Did they provide sufficient transparency about what they already knew about that man’s past or the possibility of others that may have been hurt and abused their peer?
Were the elders truthful and transparent regarding their handling of their peer’s past issues and other reports/complaints about him?
Does justice matter? Should we desire conflicts within the Church, especially conflicts involving church leaders, to be handled justly? Is justice worth fighting for?
Does everyone matter, really?
Does it matter if a victim of spiritual, emotional, and sexual abuse, perpetrated by her pastor/elder boss, is labeled as just a consenting participant in an “inappropriate relationship” with the implication that she is equally to blame and bears equal responsibility for the abuse she endured?
If mistakes were made, or if ignorance or misunderstanding led to a false narrative being chosen and communicated, once the truth is learned is it okay for that truth to be suppressed and hidden? Is it okay for the false narrative to remain uncorrected?
Who is being protected and who is being hurt by holding to that false narrative about what happened?
Who is being hurt and who is being covered for by hiding the truth of what really happened and who that man was and what he did over the years?
Is it okay to hide behind grace as an excuse for not doing the right thing or not taking responsibility for the consequences of not doing the right thing?
Is grace unconditional or is there any requirement or criteria to enable forgiveness?
Is it okay for everyone to forgive and move on based on false information and misunderstanding resulting from a lack of transparency? Is forgiveness possible without sufficient and honest confession and repentance?
Was it okay for an ongoing pattern of inappropriate and toxic behavior to be minimized, ignored, or excused rather than being dealt with appropriately to correct or remove the toxicity?
Is it healthy for those who have done wrong or those who have held to a false narrative to be allowed and enabled to continue on in their sin without honest confession and repentance?
What happens when we rob those who have done wrong the opportunity to experience true forgiveness and restoration, by ignoring or excusing or just forgiving their wrongs without true confession and repentance?
Is there any effect or consequence for a church as the result of having a spiritually toxic, abusive, likely fraud of a pastor/elder operating in their leadership for years?
What are the consequences of a pastor/elder disqualifying himself through a pattern of inappropriate behavior contrary to that defined in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and yet being allowed to continue in his position of leadership for years?
Is there any effect or consequence for the church resulting from other leadership, staff, and members allowing and enabling a disqualified, abusive pastor/elder in their midst, and then covering for and protecting that abuser when he is exposed?
What was the role of the Holy Spirit in the years of an abusive pastor/elder “shepherding” over church staff and congregation? Did it grieve the Holy Spirit to see what was happening? Did it affect the church spiritually? Does it grieve the Holy Spirit to see how the exposure of a wolf was/is being handled by the remaining church leadership?
Are those who are now learning and understanding the truth of toxic and abusive pastors being cared for well with honesty and transparency and appropriate emotional, spiritual, and psychological help?
Do those still not knowing the truth deserve to be cared for as well, or is it okay for them to be left in the dark and not be helped to process and heal properly from that ugly truth?
Do all those who were abused over the years deserve to be acknowledged, apologized to, and cared for now?
Should our loyalty be to truth, justice, and righteousness in the spirit of Christ, or to men and institutions of men?
Should evil within the Church be overlooked, minimized, or excused for the sake of unity, or should evil be exposed and called out so unity in truth, justice, and righteous can prevail?
Were the elders honest and thorough in their process of determining what had happened and how to respond, privately and publicly, to the reporting of inappropriate activity between their peer pastor/elder and his assistant?
Did the elders have adequate knowledge or experience with the subject matter to be able to quickly determine what happened, how it happened, or who was responsible for it happening?
Was there sufficient investigation to find out the truth of what really happened or how it happened?
Did the elders ask any questions of the victim or others, or show any interest in learning the truth of what really happened or how it happened?
Did the elders provide sufficient guidance, knowledgeable help, or adequate time for the individuals or families to process and try to make senses out of what happened before insisting on a written agreement permanently defining their response, the conditions of their support, and what was to be publicly communicated?
Were the elders truthful in their public communication of what happened between Mark and Diana?
What is the truth in this case? Is it the communication of a hastily defined and conditionally agreed upon term of “inappropriate relationship” with both parties being considered equally to blame and with equal responsibility in what had happened, even though there was no attempt to find out the truth of what had happened?
What was the elders understanding of “abuse of power” at the time? Why was there no consideration for the possibility of a man who had abused his position and power to perpetrate multiple forms of abuse on a victim? Why was there no guidance or help in understanding emotional and physiological abuse or the need for special trauma care for a potential victim of abuse? Why were the very obvious signs of a victim of abuse ignored or minimized over many years?
Is it important for all to know if there were patterns of inappropriate behavior in the past that hurt others, to know if or how others might have been abused by this pastor/elder? Was the communication of an “inappropriate relationship” and all that was communicated with it conducive to others being willing to tell their stories to the elders?
Is it important to determine if this pattern of behavior was an indication of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” that used and abused his positions in ministry/church to feed his ego, selfish desires, and personal agendas at the expense of others?
Is it important to provide opportunity for others who were hurt by that man to be heard and validated and for the church as a whole to honestly confront the truth and heal the damage that was done?
Did the elders not want to know the truth, or did they know it and not want it to be known by others?
Is truth and transparency in dealing with issues/conflicts that affect the entire church body important?
Did the elders provide sufficient transparency in their determination of and communication about what happened between their peer and his assistant? Did they provide sufficient transparency about what they already knew about that man’s past or the possibility of others that may have been hurt and abused their peer?
Were the elders truthful and transparent regarding their handling of their peer’s past issues and other reports/complaints about him?
Does justice matter? Should we desire conflicts within the Church, especially conflicts involving church leaders, to be handled justly? Is justice worth fighting for?
Does everyone matter, really?
Does it matter if a victim of spiritual, emotional, and sexual abuse, perpetrated by her pastor/elder boss, is labeled as just a consenting participant in an “inappropriate relationship” with the implication that she is equally to blame and bears equal responsibility for the abuse she endured?
If mistakes were made, or if ignorance or misunderstanding led to a false narrative being chosen and communicated, once the truth is learned is it okay for that truth to be suppressed and hidden? Is it okay for the false narrative to remain uncorrected?
Who is being protected and who is being hurt by holding to that false narrative about what happened?
Who is being hurt and who is being covered for by hiding the truth of what really happened and who that man was and what he did over the years?
Is it okay to hide behind grace as an excuse for not doing the right thing or not taking responsibility for the consequences of not doing the right thing?
Is grace unconditional or is there any requirement or criteria to enable forgiveness?
Is it okay for everyone to forgive and move on based on false information and misunderstanding resulting from a lack of transparency? Is forgiveness possible without sufficient and honest confession and repentance?
Was it okay for an ongoing pattern of inappropriate and toxic behavior to be minimized, ignored, or excused rather than being dealt with appropriately to correct or remove the toxicity?
Is it healthy for those who have done wrong or those who have held to a false narrative to be allowed and enabled to continue on in their sin without honest confession and repentance?
What happens when we rob those who have done wrong the opportunity to experience true forgiveness and restoration, by ignoring or excusing or just forgiving their wrongs without true confession and repentance?
Is there any effect or consequence for a church as the result of having a spiritually toxic, abusive, likely fraud of a pastor/elder operating in their leadership for years?
What are the consequences of a pastor/elder disqualifying himself through a pattern of inappropriate behavior contrary to that defined in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, and yet being allowed to continue in his position of leadership for years?
Is there any effect or consequence for the church resulting from other leadership, staff, and members allowing and enabling a disqualified, abusive pastor/elder in their midst, and then covering for and protecting that abuser when he is exposed?
What was the role of the Holy Spirit in the years of an abusive pastor/elder “shepherding” over church staff and congregation? Did it grieve the Holy Spirit to see what was happening? Did it affect the church spiritually? Does it grieve the Holy Spirit to see how the exposure of a wolf was/is being handled by the remaining church leadership?
Are those who are now learning and understanding the truth of toxic and abusive pastors being cared for well with honesty and transparency and appropriate emotional, spiritual, and psychological help?
Do those still not knowing the truth deserve to be cared for as well, or is it okay for them to be left in the dark and not be helped to process and heal properly from that ugly truth?
Do all those who were abused over the years deserve to be acknowledged, apologized to, and cared for now?
Should our loyalty be to truth, justice, and righteousness in the spirit of Christ, or to men and institutions of men?
Should evil within the Church be overlooked, minimized, or excused for the sake of unity, or should evil be exposed and called out so unity in truth, justice, and righteous can prevail?